Юмористический тест по-английскому языку

jumor test englishПреподаватели должны быть серьезными людьми – положение обязывает. Но что делать, если сам предмет, который ты преподаешь, хихикает, подмигивает и корчит уморительные рожи? А английский язык порой ведет себя именно так, и бедным педагогам остается только валять дурака вместе с ним, сохраняя при этом торжественное выражение лица. И выдавая свои кунштюки за серьезные лексико-грамматические упражнения.

     Попробуйте выполнить публикуемый ниже тест по английскому языку – и вы их поймете.

1. Do you know which animals these pleasingly useless words refer to?
a) ursine; b) equine; c) asinine; d) saurian; e) murine; f) simian; g) hirudinal; h) hircine;
i) soricine; j) сervine; k) lupine; l) ovine; m) aquiline; n) leporine o) leonine.

2. Find a sentence with at least four words ending in -ing together, not separated by commas. (i.e. not ‘I like swimming, skiing, running, cycling, etc.’)

3. What does the suffix -eme usually signify, and what do these funny little words mean?
deixeme, deme, episteme, grapheme, lexeme, morpheme, phoneme, rheme, scheme, seme, sememe, theme

4. Of course we say one ‘fish’ but two ‘fishes’, err, ‘fish’. But what are the plurals of these words?
man-servant, chrysalis, index, seraph, nebula, graffito, bureau, court martial, ignoramus, cargo, focus, octopus, nucleus, bison, cherub, sphinx, radius

5. And while we’re at it, what’s the singular form of these words?
data, series, agenda, bacteria, alumni, lice, genera, moose

6. Follow your animal instincts! Correct these famous song titles and name the artists:
a) A Cow With No Name
b) I Am The Octopus
c) I Want A Cat
d) Shock The Orang-utan
e) When Pigeons Cry
f) Year Of The Hamster
g) Don’t Kill The Tadpole

7. The suffixes -ocracy and -archy come from Greek and are used to denote systems of rulership. Who are the rulers in the following systems?
a) bureaucracy; b) gerontocracy; c) anarchy; d) theocracy; e) hagiarchy; f) gynarchy; g) democracy; h) autocracy; i) octarchy; j) matriarchy; k) triarchy; l) pentarchy; m) kakistocracy; n) stratocracy; o) plutocracy; p) heptarchy.

8. Find the ‘hidden’ homophones or homonyms in these sentences.
(e.g. “We shall encounter over edible flesh” = ‘meet’, ‘meat’)

a) During the solemn ceremony we must inscribe the correct answer. (3)
b) He looked at the vermilion words. (2)
c) I have viewed this part of the play. (2)
d) Do not moan because you have no grape juice. (2)
e) The sky coloured effect of the wind. (2)
f) I viewed the cutting tool. (2)
g) The heaviness of the server who stands in expectancy before placing dishes on the table. (3)

9. He’s got an ‘Ology’!
Zoologists study animals. To which branches of science or knowledge do these apply?
algology; b) barology; c) carpology; d) cardiology; e) dendrology; f) entomology; g) ethnology; h) etymology; i) gerontology; j) graphology; k) herpetology; l) hypnology; m) ichthyology; n) metrology; o) odontology; p) oology; q) ornithology; r) otology; s) palaeontology; t) rhinology; u) speleology; v) toxicology; w) vulcanology.

Bonus question: what is us language lovers’ favourite ‘ology’?

10. Name 20 songs sung by the Beatles which include a girl’s name.

11. Name ten everyday parts of the body with 3 letters – no slang or vulgarity please!

12. Name the origins of these coleopterous food references:

a) Cool cherry cream and a nice apple tart
b) Tangerine trees and marmalade skies
c) Semolina pilchard

13. What is found between a ‘hanging-post’ and a ‘banging-post’?

14. What shape is an object if described by the following words?

a) bacciform; b) ginglyform; c) funiform; d) calcariform; e) securiform; f) plumiform; g) coniform;h) bacilliform; i) spongiform; j) cymbiform

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